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The Bacon & Cheese Stuffed Double Pizza Burger

Wow, D-Hall really went above and beyond with his tacos and Kid Cudi post. Of course I couldn’t be bested, so I got to work finding an even better recipe / musical accompaniment to go along with it. I quickly decided that his taco’s were super fancy and very gourmet (they even look awesome). The only way I was going to beat him in this culinary battle was to take this in the other direction. Enter the Bacon & Cheese Stuffed Double Pizza Burger.

This is the height of gluttony folks. I remember wincing at the idea of putting fried chicken and waffles together a couple of years back (butter and syrup on fried chicken, all sitting on a giant fluffy waffle….), only to be appalled by KFC’s offering of the Double Down a few months later. Then came the Craz-E Burger, a bacon cheeseburger sandwiched by two glazed donuts from Krispy Kreme, adding up to a grand total of 1,500 calories!

And now, I’ve seemingly come across the height of this excessive food craze with the Bacon & Cheese Stuffed Double Pizza Burger. Two personal sized cheese stuffed, pepperoni and sausage topped frozen pizza’s, two large burgers, and lots of cheese and bacon make up this behemoth.

Ingredients:
2 DiGiorno Cheese Stuffed Crust Sausage and Pepperoni Topped Pizzas
2 lbs of Bacon (2 packages)
5 lbs Ground Beef
2 Eggs
1 White Onion
1 Garlic Bulb
1 Bag of Shredded Cheddar
Sliced Pepper Jack & Cheddar Cheese
Salt & Pepper

Instructions:
Fry up a pound of the bacon, chop it up and place aside. Chop onion and slice the garlic and mix in a bowl with the ground beef and 2 eggs. Separate beef into two equal patties then sprinkle the bag of shredded cheese and chopped bacon onto one patty and place the other beef patty on top making a cheese and bacon stuffed burger. Put this in the oven and bake at 400 degrees until browned and cooked all the way through. On the stove top assemble the rest of the bacon in the form of a dream catcher and fry. Apply the bacon dream catcher to top of cooked burger. Put pizzas in the oven and follow directions for cooking. Assemble burger, sliced cheese, bacon dream catcher, and cover with pizza “buns.” Fini.

To accompany you along this journey to the ends of the meat eating world, I’ve put together a few metal tracks.

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Gum Takes Tooth – Tannkjøtt
To start you off, and help you assemble this beast I’ve selected Gum Takes Tooth and their song “Tannkjøtt,” which means bloody gums or something to that effect. It’s upbeat for a metal song, and will have you hot stepping while you prepare the gastronomic onslaught.

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Trap Them – Day Forty: Dead Fathers Wading In the Bodygrounds
I couldn’t think of a better track to get you jumping right into eating this thing than Trap Them, and their song “Day Forty: Dead Fathers Wading In the Bodygrounds.” I don’t even know if “Bodygrounds” is a word, but I feel like this song gives the you an image of wading knee deep in meaty shot up dead bodies. sort of what eating this burger will be like. And it has a nice heavy slow persistently downbeat pace that you can eat yourself to death with.

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Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Slipknot – (sic)
What better song to finish you off and act as the soundtrack to what will become the aftermath of your intestines then Slipknots “(sic)?” I believe the chorus is “you can’t kill me because I’m already deep inside you…” that’s right, this burger is going to kill you from the inside out. Heavy fucking shit!

Props to the man who invented this monstrosotiy, Stefan from Central Jersey (of course).